Something that changed my thinking.

It wasn't any one event or experience, it was more like a series of events and experiences. I guess it started once I entered high school. I had new friends and old friends and was surrounded by a lot of new people. As time went on I lost some friends and it wasn't a peaceful kind of separation, normally it was b/c of something really stupid that left us both angry and hating each other. There was also drama with people I wasn't close to, over things like boys, rumors and just calling each other out on things. I always felt like it was never my fault, people just felt like fighting and being catty and it happened to be with me. And honestly I still feel like that about a lot that happened, because I am not the type of person to start something unless I absolutely have to, but I am the kind of person to finish something. And that's exactly how my attitude developed. When someone would come at me unreasonably or disrespectfully, I had to make sure I let them know that I didn't take that lightly. I would make a huge deal, get into a fight (not physically but verbally) and made sure to put that person in their place. It didn't always work out of course, but basically the outcome was always the two of us becoming enemies. But I felt like I had pride and principles and if those people weren't going to respect them I wanted them to know that I wasn't cool with them and didn't like them. So roughly five years later I now realize how much better and less stressful life is when it's enemy free and when you don't hate anyone. I have to say, for a person with my personality it takes huge effort to be nice to someone that I am having a conflict with instead of just telling them off, but you feel so much better at the end if you made a friend instead of an enemy that it is totally worth it.